FOOL TOUR FAQS
Hey kids, I finally finished all the scheduled events for the Fool tour. Thanks to everyone who came so I thought I’d address all the questions you asked and didn’t get to ask while I was out there.
1. You’re taller than I thought you’d be.
1. That’s not a question.
2: Okay. How come you don’t go on Jon Stewart.
2. They haven’t asked me because Jon Stewart doesn’t care about white people.
3. How come you didn’t come to my town?
3. Because I don’t care about white people.
4. Do I need to read King Lear before I read Fool in order to get the jokes.
4. Absolutely not. If anything, if you haven’t read it already, I’d read the play or watch a DVD of it after you read Fool. I think the best DVD of Lear is the BBC production with Lawrence Olivier as Lear. If you get a chance, though, go see it live. It really works (not surprisingly) better as a play than as a movie.
5. Where can I get one of those hats you wear when you sign books.
5. I don’t know. The hat gnome left this one on my couch.
6. Did you get a lot of hassle over Lamb from Christians and right wingers.
6. Nope. People like that book.
7. Can you read my story and tell me if it’s any good?
7. No. I don’t need to read it. It is good. Very good. You’re amazing.
8. Don’t be a dick. I know you can’t read people’s stories for legal and time concerns, but I need help.
8. No you don’t. You’re awesome. You should get a copy of the Writer’s Market, find out how to write a query letter, and start sending that mama-jama out.
9. Okay then, I’m taking screenwriting in college and I’d like to adapt your book Lamb (or others) and make a film. Is that okay?
9. No. You can’t adapt a script from a property you don’t own the rights to, and I can’t give you permission, even if I wanted to, because I don’t own the rights either because I sold them to people who are busy not making movies of them.
10: Are you going to write a sequel to Lamb?
10. No. I think that story is finished and anything I would come up with you would say fell short. (Admit it, you would.)
11. What are you working on now?
11. I’m finishing up Bite Me: A Love Story, the third in the San Francisco vampire series.
12. What do you like to read?
12: I like funny novels, of course, but increasingly my reading time is taken up with research material. You can find a lot of books I’ve enjoyed at Chris’s Picks on my web page. Right now I’m reading The Masterpiece by Emile Zola, The World Gone Away, by Nick Harkaway, and a bunch of Marvel Comics that the publisher sent me. (Yeah, I’m friends with the guys at Marvel. Wolverine was at my house for Thanksgiving last year. He’s like, “Let me carve the turkey! Let me carve the turkey!” And I’m all, “Whatever, Ginsu, just try to keep your sideburns out of the friggin’ giblets. “)
13: Are any movies being made of your books?
13.No. Most of the books have sold or have been optioned. Currently I have the rights back to A Dirty Job, Lust Lizard, Fluke, Coyote Blue and Fool. All but Fool have been in development at film companies, which is movie talk for not making a movie. Stage rights are the same thing.
14. What about A Dirty Job sequel? Any chance?
14. That one I would consider. I really like writing the characters. I’ll have to think about it and see how it fits into my schedule.
15. Why don’t you write a young adult book or a kids’ book so I can give them to my kids?
15. Because if they were kids’ books they wouldn’t be my books, would they? You need to give kids an incentive to grow up other than they can have cake for breakfast. You’ll thank me later.
16. When is your next book coming out?
16. I can’t say for sure, but I’d guess summer or fall 2010. Hopefully by then I’ll be able to visit some of the towns that have been missed because I’ve been touring in February the last couple of books.
17. How come you don’t ever come to Canada on tour.
17. Because Canada is a myth people made up to entertain children, like the Tooth Fairy. There’s no such place.
You can submit your own questions for “Ask the AuthorGuy in the comments and I’ll do a blog on them later. They can be about anything, not just Author Guy related stuff.