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New Tweets! Now with Marshmallow Weasels!

April 23rd, 2009 · 6 Comments

  1. Today was solutions day, and previously it was, goof around in the cereal aisle day. Sorry, I didn’t have time to paste in the photos, you’ll have to follow the links.
  2. Solutions Day! Solution to people who have a problem with Gay marriage: Don’t marry a Gay person!
  3. It’s solutions day! Solution to the American Auto Company Woes: Make Cars that Don’t Suck
  4. Solution for people who are worried Miss America was unfairly chosen: You’ll want to think about getting a life now. Me too. L8tz.

  5. Solutions Day! Solution for people who are afraid that the country is being overun by a vast left-wing conspiracy: Nuh uh. But Texas is nice. Try it.

  6. SolutionsDay! Solution for people who think Texas should secede from the Union: Live the dream! Take a sweater.

  7. Solutions Day! For people who are still terrified of the coming Gay storm: Take “It’s Raining Men” off repeat on your Ipod for fucks sake.

  8. Solution for Gay people looking forward to the coming Gay storm: Pick out a fabulous gold lame’ thong to wear to the ark party!

  9. Solution for people who are afraid of the coming Gay storm: Build an ark. Do not have Cabaret on it. Gather animals.Not Yorkies or poodles

  10. Solution for people who have a problem with Evolution: Believe something else. Don’t work in the sciences.

  11. Solution to People who Don’t Think Obama Represents us correctly overseas: Go overseas and be a dick to people, see how it works for you.

  12. Solution for people who are worried we are going to become a socialist nation: Don’t Pay Taxes, You’re armed, for fuck’s sake.

  13. Solutions Day: Solution who are afraid that their guns are going to be taken away: Stop being afraid. You’re armed, for fuck’s sake.

  14. Solutions Day! Solution for Global Warming: Chill

  15. Solution for people who think teabagging is a solution to fiscal policy: a steaming cup of Celestial Seasons Scrotum Sleepytime Tea

  16. Solution for Dick Cheney getting the information released he wants released: Release all of your secret shit, Darth. All of it. (or STFU!)

  17. Solutions Day! Solution to banks: Don’t lend money to people who can’t pay you back. Don’t sell securities that have no measurable value.

  18. Solutions Day! Solution for Somali Pirates: 3 Harrier Jump Jets with air to surface missiles. Pirates fucking with you? Call them.

  19. Solutions Day! Solution for people who think that torture is okay in some circumstances: Torture them! It’s okay!

  20. Solutions Day! Solution for previous Administration Members Who Have A Problem With Obama’s Policies: Shut the Fuck Up.

  21. – Promotes healthy colon AND Human flight!

  22. – Now with Cinnamon Bong people to tell you that you are too friggin high.

  23. – Now with Cinnamon Bong people to tell you that you are too friggin high.
  24. – Free Jailbait inside!
  25. – Includes creepy old guy to chase you off his lawn!

  26. – Now with real Meerkat Bits! (Sorry, repost, still learning this picture thing.)

  27. – Now with a bit of terrfied Leprechan wee!

Tags: Uncategorized

6 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Chris // Apr 24, 2009 at 6:19 am

    Hilarious…you are a a golden god….


  • 2 Missy // Apr 24, 2009 at 11:41 am

    I think it’s funny that you don’t like Twitter, but yet you post from it… hmmm ; p

    By the way, Fool is awesome! Loved every minute of it!

  • 3 Amanda Dubs // Apr 24, 2009 at 3:42 pm

    I like seeing all your…tweets? *sigh* the names they have for twitter stuff is just ridiculous. But you make it better mostly!

  • 4 Deina // Apr 27, 2009 at 12:12 pm

    Grocery shopping will never be the same….

  • 5 Chelsea // Apr 27, 2009 at 2:43 pm

    the solutions were hilarious. I laughed out loud on the train platform and numerous people gave me the “that girl’s crazy” look. Totally worth it.

  • 6 Jodi // Apr 27, 2009 at 3:08 pm

    You’ve made me pay attention to Twitter again!

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