Christopher Moore's Blog

So, I watched Arnold’s speech at the Republican Convention. According to him, I am a Republican. Evidently, the test for being a Republican is the same one they give for “Are You A Carbon Based Life Form”, which I read in Cosmo some years ago. (Actually the test was, Is Your Man a Carbon-Based Life Form and If He Is, What Can you Do to Trick Him.) I knew they had quit checking SAT scores for the Republican party, that was sort of evident when, well, you know.

So, we Republicans are pitching a really, really big tent. A great big circus of a tent. And now that I am a Republican, I’m not really sure that I want to be in the same tent with all of you freaks. I mean, you can buy my books, and vote for my candidates and stuff, but, you know, don’t expect any rights, or policies that benifit you. You’re welcome in, just, you know, stay away from me. And this isn’t like the Nigerian money, either. This is real. I heard it from a guy who is famous for pretending to be a robot.