When HarperCollins asked if I’d be interested in doing a “blog swap” with Christopher Moore, I didn’t hesitate for a second! First of all, Christopher Moore “gets” it: vampires don’t sparkle (at least, not the ones in our books).
And the heroine of Chris’s book, BITE ME, Abby Normal, has a bit in common with Meena, the heroine of my books, INSATIABLE http://www.megcabot.com/insatiable/book1.php and OVERBITE http://www.megcabot.com/insatiable/book2.php . . . and it’s not just their interest in non-sparkling vampires. But I can’t say more than that without giving away some spoiler.
So instead, I’ll talk about Abby’s creator.
I first heard of Christopher Moore a few years ago when his books were “prescribed” to my husband by his doctor here in New York City. Concerned about Benjamin’s mounting high blood pressure and cholesterol levels (caused mostly by genetics but also by stress from his high-pressure job), Dr. G suggested that, in addition to taking the medication he’d prescribed, Benjamin try reading books by Dr. G’s favorite writer, Christopher Moore.
“They’re just good stories,” Dr. Goldberg said. “Funny stuff. With heart. Good for the soul. Read them for good health!”
Benjamin immediately bought a copy of YOU SUCK.
Soon Christopher Moore books became a staple in our house, and Benjamin’s blood pressure and cholesterol went down. I could, of course, have attributed this to the magnificent story-telling of Mr. Moore.
But I was nagged by a bit of doubt . . . was it possible that Christopher was, in fact, a vampire himself? Was THAT why Dr. G was prescribing his books to all his patients with TOO MUCH BLOOD? Because reading his books LOWERED THEIR BLOOD LEVELS?
You laugh. But that is how writers think?
I had an opportunity to test my theory two years later while attending the National Book Festival in Washington, DC, when I happened to be sitting in a hotel bar (as some authors are wont to do when off duty).
It was there that I noticed a number of high schoolers attending prom in the same hotel, a floor below the balcony on which I was sitting.
To get to the ballroom where prom was taking place, the high schoolers, dressed in their tuxes and evening gowns, had to ride an escalator.
One young lady, not used to riding escalators in an evening gown, got the train of her chartreuse prom dress stuck in grooves of the escalator steps, causing the entire works to jam!
She was all right, but the escalator wouldn’t budge . . . she was stuck, trapped by her dress!
As any writer knows, this is the perfect plot to a horror movie: the pretty heroine, trapped in her own dress, unable to move, as she’s being stalked by the misogynistic monster.
As I watched from the balcony above, unable to do a thing to help her, one by one her companions climbed the stalled escalator steps, deserting her! No one so much as left to go find a maintenance person to help her. Even her date left her behind!
(Teenage boys. Ugh.)
Surely, I thought, someone would come to help this poor damsel in distress (it should be noted that I was much too transfixed with horror to think of calling the hotel maintenance staff for help myself. Or perhaps I’d had too many margaritas. I’d been there a while.)
That was when, from out of nowhere, a tall fellow, looking completely out of place since he was wearing a brightly colored Hawaiian shirt, appeared. He looked kind of familiar but I couldn’t figure out why.
He strolled up to the girl and, though I was too far away to hear what he said, seemed not to want to bite her on the neck, but to ask if she was all right. The girl looked tearfully grateful to have anyone at all pay attention to her. She was completely unsuspecting of the danger she was in.
“Who’s that?” the other drunk authors around me wanted to know.
“OMG!” I cried, suddenly recognizing him from the backs of all my husband’s books. “THAT’S CHRISTOPHER MOORE!”
Christopher took total control of the situation. And far from biting her on the neck, he bent down and attempted to help rescue the girl’s dress from the escalator. But alas, it was too big a job for a man without tools. But Chris stayed with the sad young lady until a maintenance man came . . . and freed her, without ruining her dress, and significantly lowering all of our blood pressure.
We gave him a standing ovation from the balcony when this happened, though I doubt he heard it or even knew what it was for, because Christopher Moore is THAT COOL.
Not only have Christopher Moore’s amazing books helped lower the blood pressure and cholesterol of at least one reader that I personally know, but Christopher Moore he himself is a model of chivalry, and a hero, for which I personally think he should be forever celebrated!
Although I have never actually seen him in daylight, now that I think about it . . .
But never mind!
Like Dr. G said, his books are “good for the soul. Read them for good health!”
And if you’re ever in an emergency situation, hope Christopher Moore will be around! Because he’ll have your back!