Since I announced my 2012 book tour, a lot of people have been asking, “What goes on at a book-signing?” The following answers apply only to MY events, book-signings by other authors are different. For instance, while there is no real “appropriate” attire for one of my events, if you’re at a Chuck Palahniuk event, you’ll want to wear your best bondage-wear (leather or PVC), and carry plastic sheeting. Chuck’s events are very much like a Gallagher comedy act, except in place of watermelons, human body parts are splattered on the audience, which is why Chuck is America’s most beloved author. That said, while you may have to stand in line unattended at one of my signings, at Neil Gaiman events there are “line monitors,” burly security guys who are there to catch Goth girls (and boys) who faint over Neil’s dreaminess. At a Lemony Snicket event, you might be entertained by Toccata and Fugue played on an accordion and encouraged to murder your parents (or at least frame them for embezzlement, ) while at one of my events, the closest you’ll come to being entertained is watching me swig Nyquil while spooging hand-sand on myself and others in a series of anti-viral “money-shots”.
So, to your questions:
1)What is the most important thing to consider in coming to one of your events?
1)ans: Parking. This is doubly important if you are driving.
2)Do I have to buy a book to attend?
2)ans: Most stores, now, require you buy at least one book per group, or a ticket, which usually includes a book. This varies from store to store and you should call the store and ask before betting your whole afternoon or evening on it. I’ve listed all of their contact information on Google.
3)Can I get your other books signed, my older books?
3)Yes, but often I have to limit how many I can personalize, especially if there’s a big crowd. The store my require that you buy the new one there, but most are okay if you bring your old books, and I’ll sign all that you bring. It helps if you have them turned to the “title page”, which is the first page on which my name appears. Collectors and dealers who have a bunch of books are asked to wait until the end and — access to the author for dealers is up to the discretion of the event store. (If you’re a dealer or a collector, you probably know this.)
4)I don’t know what to say. It’s my big moment, I’ve been waiting in line, and I don’t know what to say…
4) Most authors have been on your side of the table and know what that is like. I remember being terrified to speak to Ray Bradbury, and later Harlan Ellison. Hell, even now I get nervous when I meet authors. We get it. We also have all done events where no one but the bookstore staff was there, so we’re grateful you’re there. No author doesn’t like to hear that you love his or her books, that you share them with friends. It doesn’t get old, and it’s exactly the thing to say. I appreciate it. On the other hand, don’t pitch your idea for a screenplay or novel. I am powerless to help you and there are people waiting.
5)You like pie. Can I bring you pie? Or, you know, a meerkat?
5)Presents are very sweet, but an author on tour usually has one carry-on bag and his or her version of a computer bag – for the whole month, which means things are packed to the max. We just don’t have room to take along gifts, nor the time to send them on or even eat snacks. (I’ve even run out of room to carry my receipts and had to ship them home mid-way through the tour.) I’ve left a multitude of thoughtful gifts in hotel rooms because I couldn’t get them into my bag. That goes double for books and regional delicacies like bar-b-que sauce or maple syrup. (We’re getting on a plane in the morning, remember?) We just don’t have room for them. I have had many dinners consisting entirely of goldfish crackers brought to me by readers, and I really thank you for that, but it’s probably not the best policy. CDs and Manuscripts are out of the question. First, I can’t read manuscripts even if I want to, agents orders, and I don’t travel with a CD player, not even in my computer, so the discs often have to be left behind a stop or two down the road, anyway.
6)What can we expect? Do you read your work? Give back-rubs? What’s up?
6) The main thing to remember is, LOWER YOUR EXPECTATIONS. I’m a writer, if I was a people person they wouldn’t lock me in a room by myself to do my job. I don’t read my stuff. I suck at it. That said, there’s some variation in how events proceed– especially this tour, since some events are in theaters, but usually a bunch of you sit down, someone introduces me, I talk about writing books and stuff for about 20-40 minutes, take some questions, and then I sign books. Each book store has a different way of managing the line. Some have tickets, or bookmarks, or wrist-bands, other’s go by the “dog-pile” approach. At some events, I will have signed all of the books in advance so you’ll get a signed book even if you don’t have time to stand in line. We started doing this a couple of books ago when I’d get letters from people who had come but had to leave because of a baby-sitter or something before they got to meet me and get their book signed. You can still stand in line and I’ll personalize your book, but usually in these cases, the line is shorter because those people who just wanted to hear me talk or get a signed book can bolt.
7)What sort of questions should we ask?
7)Not “Where do you get your ideas?” (Now that I’ve told you that, I know that the first question will always be, “Where do you get your ideas?” because, let’s face it, my work appeals to the smart-ass demographic, but I’m going to just tell you “From Jules Verne”, or “from Bazooka Joe Comics” or something equally absurd, so whatever…) The one thing I ask is that as the tour proceeds, and you’ve had time to read the book, is you not ask something that’s a “spoiler” for those who haven’t had a chance to read it yet. Oh, no movies are being made of my books. If that changes, I’ll let you know. I’ll always talk about craft — I like that, and I like questions about research because the answers usually lead to some story wherein I reveal myself to be a doofus.
8)What else do we need to know?
8)Most anything else should be addressed to the specific book store, because they really dictate the policy for events. Call them. They’ll know about parking, places to eat near-by, stuff like that. My advice, on meals, by the way, is on an evening event, eat before you come to the book store. I do. Sometimes these things can run late.
9)Will you sign other stuff?
9)I will, but it’s limited. It takes quite a while to sign fabric items, I have to go slow, so be considerate of your line homeys when you ask. Fucksox are nearly impossible, so let’s not go there. Body parts are also really tough. (I can’t believe I’m actually typing this.) I know you’d love to have a tattoo on your uvula of my signature, but as I cherish the fun of poking you in the uvula with a Sharpie, may I suggest getting something else signed, like tracing paper or clear plastic, and taking that to your tattoo artist. That way, too, you can sober up and think it through.
10)What about pictures?
10) I’m fine with you taking pictures with me. Sometimes the store will have someone who will help – take your phone or camera so you can get in the picture—but sometimes, not, so you’ll want to have stuff ready. If the store doesn’t have someone, then make friends with the person in line behind you to take the shot – show them how to use your phone, get it all set up. The we’ll all dogpile into the photo and it will be tons of fun. After the last tour (Serpent of Venice) everyone in Denver was at the bookstore until nearly 1:00 AM because I was posing for pictures, so we had to change things so the pictures were taken on the run, and I couldn’t stop to pose. You’ll still get your picture, I just may not be giving you the full brilliance of my insincere goofy-ass grin.
11)Should I bring my kid?
11)If you read my books, and I assume you do, you know I like salty language. I’m that way in person, too, so if you don’t want your kids hearing adult-themed stuff, you’re going to be uncomfortable. As far as little kids, well, as before, sometimes the event goes on for a pretty long time, and a lot of little ones are not going to be happy in line for a couple of hours. When we can, we do try to move people with little kids to the front of the line, but that’s not always possible, so don’t rent some kid for the night just to get to the front of the line. Definitely no rental kids.
February 1st, 2012 · 4 Comments
Author: Moore, Christopher
Review Issue Date: February 15, 2012
Online Publish Date: February 5, 2012
Price ( Hardcover ): $26.99
Publication Date: April 3, 2012
ISBN ( Hardcover ): 978-0-06-177974-9
An aspiring painter and unabashed romantic joins the greatest artists of the age in chasing his muse across fin de siècle–era France.
There are really two ages and two operating modes for hugely popular comedic writer Moore (The Griff, 2011, etc.). There’s the deceptively easy humor of his early California novels, which only gets sharper and funnier in his San Francisco–based vampire novels. But from time to time, Moore gets obsessed with a particular subject, lending a richer layer to his peculiar brand of irreverent humor—see Lamb (2003), Fluke (2003) and Fool (2009) for examples. Here, the author gets art deeply under his fingernails for a wryly madcap and sometimes touching romp through the late 19th century. The story surrounds the mysterious suicide of Vincent van Gogh, who famously shot himself in a French wheat field only to walk a mile to a doctor’s house. The mystery, which is slowly but cleverly revealed through the course of the book, is blue: specifically the exclusive ultramarine pigment that accents pictures created by the likes of Michelangelo and van Gogh. To find the origin of the hue, Moore brings on Lucien Lessard, a baker, aspiring artist and lover of Juliette, the brunette beauty who breaks his heart. After van Gogh’s death, Lucien joins up with the diminutive force of nature Henri Toulouse-Lautrec to track down the inspiration behind the Sacré Bleu. In the shadows, lurking for centuries, is a perverse paint dealer dubbed The Colorman, who tempts the world’s great artists with his unique hues and a mysterious female companion who brings revelation—and often syphilis (it is Moore, after all). Into the palette, Moore throws a dizzying array of characters, all expertly portrayed, from the oft-drunk “little gentleman” to a host of artists including Édouard Manet, Paul Gauguin, Georges Seurat, Claude Monet, Camille Pissarro and Pierre-Auguste Renoir.
Moore’s humor is, as ever, sweetly juvenile, but his arty comedy also captures the courage and rebellion of the Impressionists with an exultant joie de vivre.
Moore, Christopher (Author)
Apr 2012. 416 p. Morrow, hardcover, $26.99. (9780062097749).
Moore drops his readers into the strange world of nineteenth-century France, where the line between past and present, real and surreal, shifts with a mere brushstroke. A baker and aspiring artist, protagonist Lucien Lessard grew up surrounded by Impressionist painters, all of whom seem to have fallen under the magical spell of a particular shade of blue. Van Gogh’s death and posthumous warning of a dangerous villain, the Colorman, sets Lessard and his friend, Henri Toulouse-Lautrec, off on a journey to discover the power behind the Colorman’s blue paint. Entwined in their journey is the beautiful but mysterious Juliette. Mingling comedy and mystery, Moore crafts an intricate story that teases the reader with numerous twists and bawdy humor. While Lessard is fictional, many of the characters are based on historical figures, and their use of modern slang can be jarring. Toulouse-Lautrec emerges vibrantly, but some of the other painters struggle to come to life. Still, this is an imaginative and amusing look at the Impressionist era, and Moore’s prose is fresh and engaging.
— Eve Gaus
Sacré Bleu: A Comedy d’Art.
Morrow. Apr. 2012. c.416p. illus. ISBN 9780061779749. $26.99. F
Moore (Fool; You Suck) set out to write a book about the color blue. What he ended up with is a surprisingly complex novel full of love, death, art, and mystery. When baker–turned–aspiring artist Lucien Lessard, whose father was friends with some of the preeminent French artists of the late 19th century, receives a special tube of vibrant blue paint from the mysterious Juliette, his amateurish painting becomes masterly and his life becomes a mess. Obsessed with painting and loving Juliette, Lucien must discover the mystery of the blue paint, the origins of Juliette, and the identity of her near-constant companion, the frighteningly sinister Colorman who haunted other artists like Van Gogh, Monet, Pissarro, and Cézanne. In the end, the true question for Lucien is, “At what price art?” VERDICT Don’t let Moore’s quirky characters and bawdy language fool you. His writing has depth, and his peculiar take on the impressionists will reel you in. One part art history (with images of masterpieces interspersed with the narrative), one part paranormal mystery, and one part love story, this is a worthy read. Considering the large marketing push and Moore’s rabid fan base, expect demand.
Here’s the prliminary schedule. Details and additions are yet to come, including the Canadian dates. There will also be an arrangement for people in places I’m not going to get signed 1st editions by mail. The hardcover will have color artwork, the paperback will not, so you might want to get your hands on a hardcover this time.
4/3 San Francisco Books Inc @Opera Plaz
7:00 PM 601 Van Ness Ave
San Francisco, CA 94102
Tickets available here:
4/4 Portland Powell’s Books @ Bagdad Theater
7:00 PM 3702 SE Hawthorne Blvd
Portland, OR 97214
Ticket with purchase of books available at www.etix.com. Copy of book comes with the ticket and will be available at the theater for pick-up.
4/5 Lake Forest Park Third Place Books
7:00 PM 17171 Bothell Way NE
Lake Forest Park, WA 98155
4/6 Seattle University Book Store
7:00 PM 4326 University Way NE
Seattle, WA 98105
4/7 Denver Tattered Cover-LoDo
7:30 PM 1628 16th Street
Denver, CO 80202
4/9 San Diego Mysterious Galaxy
7:00 PM 7051 Clairemont Mesa Blvd
San Diego, CA 92111
4/10 Dallas Dallas Museum of Art
7:30 PM 1717 N. Harwood Street
Dallas, TX 75214
Order tickets online at www.tickets.dallasmuseumofart.org Tickets do not include a copy of the book, but books are available in the Museum Gift Shop and you are welcome to bring your books purchased elsewhere to be signed. Ticket does include a tour of the museum’s Impressionists collection.
4/11 Milwaukee Boswell’s Books
7:00 PM 2559 Downer Avenue
Milwaukee, WI 53211
4/12 Brookline Brookline Booksmith @Coolidge Theater
6:00 PM 290 Harvard Street
Brookline, MA 02446
CHAPTERS JOHN & RICHMOND
Date: Saturday, April 14, 2012
Time: 2:00 PM ET
Location: 142 John Street, Toronto, ON, M5V 2E9
4/15 Chicago- 2:00 PM
123 W. Jefferson Ave., Naperville, IL 60540
4/16 Washington Politics & Prose
7:00 PM 5015 Connecticut Avenue NW
Washington, D.C. 20008
4/17 West Chester Chester County Book Company
7:00 PM 975 Paoli Pike
West Chester, PA 19380
4/18 New York Barnes & Noble Union Square
7:00 PM 33 East 17th Street
New York, NY 10003
4/20 Petaluma Copperfield’s Books
7:00 PM 140 Kentucky Street
Petaluma, CA 94952
4/24 Menlo Park Kepler’s Books
7:00 PM 1010 El Camino Real
Menlo Park, CA 94025
4/25- South Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
INDIGO SOUTH EDMONTON
Date: Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Time: 7:00 PM MT
Location: 1837 99th Street N.W., Edmonton, AB T6N 1K8
4/28 Pasadena Vroman’s Bookstore
5:00 PM 695 E. Colorado Blvd
Pasadena, CA 91101
4/29 Huntington Beach Barnes & Noble
3:00 PM 7881 Edinger Ave #110
Huntington Beach, CA 92647
November 17th, 2011 · 4 Comments
Now Canadians can order right through the web site.
Christopher Moore and Ian Corson will be answering questions and signing, The Griff, a graphic novel. Chris will also sign his other books if you bring them.
MONDAY JULY 25th @ 7:00 PM Barnes & Noble (Huntington Beach Location)
7881 Edinger Ave., #110
Huntington Beach, CA 92647
THURSDAY JULY 28th @ 7:00 PM: BOOKS INC (Mountain View Location)
301 Castro Street
Mountain View, CA 94041
FRIDAY JULY 29th @ 7:30 PM: The Booksmith
1644 Haight Street
San Francisco, CA 94117
SATURDAY JULY 30th @ 12:00 PM: M is for Mystery
86 East Third Avenue
San Mateo, CA 94401
SUNDAY JULY 31st @2:00 PM: Copperfield’s Books Napa
3900 Bel Aire Plaza
Hwy 29 & Trancas St
Napa, CA 94558
San Diego Convention Center
111 W. Harbor Drive San Diego, CA 92101å
1:15 – 2:15 pm PT
Panel: Books vs Graphic Novels
Books vs Graphic Novels & Comics, Thursday, 7/21/11, 1:15p.m. – 2:15p.m., Room: 6A
Books vs. Graphic Novels and Comics: Writers often dabble with various forms of art as an outlet for their creativity. Graphic novels are a popular medium for novelists to tell their stories, just as comic books often serve as inspiration for science-fiction and fantasy authors. In this panel, authors will discuss the process and collaboration involved in publishing a graphic novel vs. a novel, as well as the role comic books play in the creation of their characters and story arcs.
Khaled Hosseini, author of The Kite Runner, A Thousand Splendid Suns (Riverhead)
Christopher Moore (GOC) /Ian Corson, co-authors of The Griff (Harper Collins)
Jim Butcher, author of the Harry Dresden series (Roc)
Tom Sniegoski, author of the Remy Chandler novels (Roc) and The Fallen Young Adult series
Amber Benson, author of the Calliope Reaper Jones novels (Ace) and an actress on Buffy the Vampire Slayer
James O’Barr – The Crow
Jennifer Holms & Matthew Holms – Babymouse, etc.
Location: Comic-Con, Room 6A
2:45 – 3:45 pm PT
Signing: Books vs Graphic Novels Panel
Featured Authors: Christopher Moore, Ian Corson (The Griff)
Signing Time/Location: Thursday, ComicCon Autographing Area AA2, 2:45 p.m. – 3:45 p.m.
Saturday, July 23
12:30 – 1:30 pm PT
Panel: Spotlight on Christopher Moore
Featured Author: Christopher Moore
Location: Comic-Con, Room 5 AB
2 – 3 pm
Official Booksigning: Christopher Moore
Signing Time/Location: Saturday, Comic-Con Autographing Area, AA6, 2 to 3 pm
When HarperCollins asked if I’d be interested in doing a “blog swap” with Christopher Moore, I didn’t hesitate for a second! First of all, Christopher Moore “gets” it: vampires don’t sparkle (at least, not the ones in our books).
And the heroine of Chris’s book, BITE ME, Abby Normal, has a bit in common with Meena, the heroine of my books, INSATIABLE http://www.megcabot.com/insatiable/book1.php and OVERBITE http://www.megcabot.com/insatiable/book2.php . . . and it’s not just their interest in non-sparkling vampires. But I can’t say more than that without giving away some spoiler.
So instead, I’ll talk about Abby’s creator.
I first heard of Christopher Moore a few years ago when his books were “prescribed” to my husband by his doctor here in New York City. Concerned about Benjamin’s mounting high blood pressure and cholesterol levels (caused mostly by genetics but also by stress from his high-pressure job), Dr. G suggested that, in addition to taking the medication he’d prescribed, Benjamin try reading books by Dr. G’s favorite writer, Christopher Moore.
“They’re just good stories,” Dr. Goldberg said. “Funny stuff. With heart. Good for the soul. Read them for good health!”
Benjamin immediately bought a copy of YOU SUCK.
Soon Christopher Moore books became a staple in our house, and Benjamin’s blood pressure and cholesterol went down. I could, of course, have attributed this to the magnificent story-telling of Mr. Moore.
But I was nagged by a bit of doubt . . . was it possible that Christopher was, in fact, a vampire himself? Was THAT why Dr. G was prescribing his books to all his patients with TOO MUCH BLOOD? Because reading his books LOWERED THEIR BLOOD LEVELS?
You laugh. But that is how writers think?
I had an opportunity to test my theory two years later while attending the National Book Festival in Washington, DC, when I happened to be sitting in a hotel bar (as some authors are wont to do when off duty).
It was there that I noticed a number of high schoolers attending prom in the same hotel, a floor below the balcony on which I was sitting.
To get to the ballroom where prom was taking place, the high schoolers, dressed in their tuxes and evening gowns, had to ride an escalator.
One young lady, not used to riding escalators in an evening gown, got the train of her chartreuse prom dress stuck in grooves of the escalator steps, causing the entire works to jam!
She was all right, but the escalator wouldn’t budge . . . she was stuck, trapped by her dress!
As any writer knows, this is the perfect plot to a horror movie: the pretty heroine, trapped in her own dress, unable to move, as she’s being stalked by the misogynistic monster.
As I watched from the balcony above, unable to do a thing to help her, one by one her companions climbed the stalled escalator steps, deserting her! No one so much as left to go find a maintenance person to help her. Even her date left her behind!
(Teenage boys. Ugh.)
Surely, I thought, someone would come to help this poor damsel in distress (it should be noted that I was much too transfixed with horror to think of calling the hotel maintenance staff for help myself. Or perhaps I’d had too many margaritas. I’d been there a while.)
That was when, from out of nowhere, a tall fellow, looking completely out of place since he was wearing a brightly colored Hawaiian shirt, appeared. He looked kind of familiar but I couldn’t figure out why.
He strolled up to the girl and, though I was too far away to hear what he said, seemed not to want to bite her on the neck, but to ask if she was all right. The girl looked tearfully grateful to have anyone at all pay attention to her. She was completely unsuspecting of the danger she was in.
“Who’s that?” the other drunk authors around me wanted to know.
“OMG!” I cried, suddenly recognizing him from the backs of all my husband’s books. “THAT’S CHRISTOPHER MOORE!”
Christopher took total control of the situation. And far from biting her on the neck, he bent down and attempted to help rescue the girl’s dress from the escalator. But alas, it was too big a job for a man without tools. But Chris stayed with the sad young lady until a maintenance man came . . . and freed her, without ruining her dress, and significantly lowering all of our blood pressure.
We gave him a standing ovation from the balcony when this happened, though I doubt he heard it or even knew what it was for, because Christopher Moore is THAT COOL.
Not only have Christopher Moore’s amazing books helped lower the blood pressure and cholesterol of at least one reader that I personally know, but Christopher Moore he himself is a model of chivalry, and a hero, for which I personally think he should be forever celebrated!
Although I have never actually seen him in daylight, now that I think about it . . .
But never mind!
Like Dr. G said, his books are “good for the soul. Read them for good health!”
And if you’re ever in an emergency situation, hope Christopher Moore will be around! Because he’ll have your back!
Meg Cabot is a #1 New York Times bestselling author of books for both adults and tweens/teens. Her Princess Diaries series was made into two hit movies by Disney, sold over 16 million copies, and has been translated into 38 languages. Insatiable, Meg’s first paranormal romance for adult readers, made its debut in June 2010, and Overbite, the sequel, is on sale everywhere today, July 5, 2011. Meg divides her time between Key West, Indiana, and New York City with a primary cat (one-eyed Henrietta), various back-up cats, and her husband.Learn more about INSATIABLE and OVERBITE by visiting Meg’s website, http://www.megcabot.com/ or watch Meg in this video, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=099UTw_8DuM in which she exposes the shocking truth about the vampires who are invading New York City from New Jersey.
Note: to find Chris’ Blog post on Meg Cabot’s blog, visit her here: http://www.megcabot.com/diary/
Hey kids, check out the story of Flip Nicklin, the guy on whom I based Clay Demodokus (the photographer) in Fluke. Really some of the most amazing whale photography ever, by the guy who wrote the book. Really. Nice dynamic content for Ipad. The book is coming soon.
Among Giants, A Life with Whales
* “Big and Wet” is about all I knew about whales before I researched and wrote Fluke, that they were big and wet. Evidently, there’s more to them.
Talk and the Usual Heinous Fuckery
Sunday, August 15, 2010 at 5:30pm
Capitola Book Cafe
1475 41st Avenue Capitola, CA 95010
I’ll be talking about whatever is bugging me that day.
Okay, not naked. I totally lied about Naked.
But I’ll be on stage at the Brava Theater in San Francisco with a group of actors from the American Conservatory Theater, there will be readings from Fool, King Lear, I’ll tell stories and lies, take questions, and sign books. I think you can expect heinous fuckery most foul.
All proceeds benefit LitQuake, San Francisco.
HEINOUS TICKET INFO LINK MOST FOUL